I'm talking about the older woman here. And by that term, I don't necessarily mean older than you, because you may well be an older man. Shyness is not just the domain of young men. No matter what anyone tells you, except for the really awkward, adolescent shyness, most shy guys can remain that way for life.

But what if she is older than you? Doesn't that mean she'll see you as a kid?

There is a growing trend amongst younger men to target older women. Maybe this goes back to the schoolboy crush on the good looking female teacher, or maybe it's just that there are some really hot older women out there. I'll go into this more in later secrets. But for whatever reason, these days, it's not a sign of desperation to go after an older woman, it's a sign of self-worth.

If you are youngish and find your attention drawn to a woman older than yourself, then don't despair. Just because she seems way out of your league, doesn't mean you are. Again, shy can be a real advantage here.

But to attract an older woman you have to make it clear that you don't care about age. Or, even more favourable, you actually prefer older women for a series of reasons I'll give you later. And this goes for the older guy who's going for women his own age.

I read a Jerk's  comment about how to pick up a 'Cougar' one time. If you don't know this term, you'll probably hear it if you end up being involved with an older woman. It's a label applied to older women who are on the prowl for young men. They're predators, supposedly.(If it hasn't come across by now, I don't like predators- male or female, so find another site if that's how you see yourself.)

Anyway, this guy says that if a 'cougar' starts to chat you up, then tell her smugly you think she may be a bit old for you. That's supposed to make an older woman want to prove she's not too old. She'll be butter in your hands while ever she thinks she's the one who's undesirable because of her age.

If all you're after is a one night stand, then maybe that technique will work on insecure, older women who have something to prove to themselves. It comes back down to the 'bad boy' thing again. Any woman who lets you treat her bad hasn't got great self-esteem. She has serious issues. And she's easy prey (unfortunately) and adds nothing to your self-worth by getting her.

I once met a guy who really looked quite old. As I'm not particularly worried about age, that didn't concern me. What did worry me was when he discovered that I was 7 years older than him. He started calling himself a 'toy boy'. That term demeans both parties.

I asked this guy if he had a problem with the age gap. He hummed and haaed. Finally he said he had a bit of a problem with it, but I could probably convince him otherwise.

I walked away. I don't have to prove anything. And neither does anyone who respects themselves.

So, if you fancy a woman who's no kid, let her know that her age is an advantage - or at the very least, doesn't matter to you. And mean it! If there is anything in your delivery that says otherwise, she'll walk away.